When Kaylee Priddy was invited to a dinner party for artists and intellectuals at Pamela Handelman’s house, she found more than just a good meal and conversation. The evening kicked off an immediate friendship between the two artists and activists, bringing together kindred spirits five decades apart in age, and the beginning of a relationship neither one expected…roommates.
When a 20-Something-Year-Old and a 70-Something-Year-Old Become Roommates, A Highlight from Age-Friendly Greater Pittsburgh
Their connection began after dinner in Pamela’s detached art studio, where an easy — “unfiltered,” as Pamela describes it — conversation over wine quickly revealed just how much they had in common. Kaylee, in her late 20s, and Pamela, in her 70s, say they left that night feeling as if they’d known each other their whole lives.
Soon after, when Pamela was looking for a tenant around the same time Kaylee’s lease was expiring, she invited her over again for dinner to talk about the idea of becoming roommates. The two had their decision by the end of the meal — no lease, just trust — and Kaylee would move into Pamela’s Dormont home.
Becoming friends with Kaylee also meant gaining a new circle of younger friends, something that came as a surprise to Pamela. “The relationships I have now with people who could be my grandchildren are remarkable,” she says. “They see me, and I see them. I think that’s what the secret is.”
An Unlikely but Powerful Friendship
The love and mutual respect between the two friends is easy to spot, both frequently nodding as the other speaks and finishing each other’s thoughts. Pamela describes their connection as bashert, Yiddish for “meant to be.”
Kaylee boasts that her older friend is “the bearer of progress in our thinking and our home,” a role she believes society usually assigns to younger generations. While Pamela jokes that Kaylee should learn how to cook — “It’s better for you. It’s healthier!” — she also praises Kaylee as “the kindest person I’ve ever had in my presence.”
And there’s another layer to their friendship: they’re allies in making the world a better place. “We’re on the side of justice, there’s no question,” Pamela says.
Both have stepped away from social media and enjoy the quiet that comes with it, filling the space instead with conversations about improving the world and swapping stories they’ve heard on NPR. They’ve stood shoulder to shoulder at protests, even making signs together for a recent march, and are already dreaming up ways to combine Pamela’s oil paintings with Kaylee’s mixed-media artwork into future collaborations.
Pamela has even considered what might happen if her living situation changes, saying that if she ever sells her house and downsizes, Kaylee would be the first person she’d ask to move in. She says she’s experienced “more freedom of spirit” since knowing Kaylee, and that she’s never had a friendship quite like this one.
Her advice for anyone considering a roommate decades younger or older than you? “Have a long dinner with them and have them drink a glass of wine before they commit to moving in with you,” she says. “In other words, you should talk to each other.”
About Age-Friendly Greater Pittsburgh
Age-Friendly Greater Pittsburgh dedicates their work to improving the experience of residents as we age and actively reducing ageism in the Pittsburgh region by cultivating a community that embraces and values people of all ages. Our mission is to bring generations together to reimagine how our neighborhoods are built and to advance equity through advocacy, education and innovation.
We are an initiative by Southwestern Pennsylvania Partnership for Aging and the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work, with a network of 120+ partners promoting age inclusion across all sectors of society, including education, employment, housing, culture and health care.
About the Picture This Campaign
As part of Age-Friendly Greater Pittsburgh’s goal to improve the experience of aging and actively reduce ageism in the region, Picture This promotes the cultivation of meaningful relationships across generations. By showcasing photos and real-life stories of vibrant intergenerational connections, the campaign visibly illustrates how these relationships are happening all over the region and reveals their capacity to combat isolation and build a stronger, more connected age-friendly region. Age-Friendly’s new Picture This exhibition with Casey Droege is opens on November 8.
Story by Lisa Cunningham
Photography by Nate Smallwood
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