My kitchen sink clogs up. There’s a blockage somewhere in the pipes. My home was once a boarding house for steelworkers, so there are some oddities in the layout of the plumbing. But for the past few months, my sink drains at a glacial pace; no doubt some combination of coffee grounds and oatmeal has lodged in place. The clog, if I don’t clean it out properly, will just get worse. On a recent dark morning, I’ve looked at it and felt it’s the perfect metaphor for burnout: A buildup of psychic residue unable to drain, full of unwanted emotional and spiritual gunk that leaves you feeling…empty.
Pittsburghers Share Their Stories of Burnout
I became interested in writing about burnout when I heard Bonfire, a restaurant on the South Side I loved, was closing its doors. The restaurant industry is notoriously harsh, with grueling hours, financial strain, and physical work that takes a toll on the body over time. Chef Chris Bonfili said, however, that he felt optimistic about closing the restaurant, because after his father’s death, he realized he didn’t have unlimited time and didn’t want to spend all of it working.
“I still love cooking and hospitality, and for a long time I was willing to sacrifice other areas for that, but I’m just not there now,” he said. “It tugs on your heartstrings a little bit, but I really am just kind of ready. That’s in the front of my mind. I think about all the things I am going to be able to do and all the time I am going to have — this will be the first year in seventeen years I’ll be home for Mother’s Day and cooking for my wife instead of cooking Mother’s Day brunch at the restaurant.”
“This will be the first year in seventeen years I’ll be home for Mother’s Day and cooking for my wife instead of cooking Mother’s Day brunch at the restaurant.”
Bonfili didn’t necessarily characterize his experience as burnout, but I found myself curious about the choices we make for our health, our families, and our wellbeing. How much are you willing to sell your time and your labor for? What is it worth? When have you gone too far?
The participants in this story are a mix of age ranges, socio-economic backgrounds, and career paths. Talking about burnout openly is one way to start the healing process. So, I put out a call: Have you experienced burnout and how did it affect you? It turns out, almost everyone I know had a burnout story.
What is Burnout?
Burnout is not just exhaustion or stress. Psychologist Herbert Freudenberger popularized the term in the 1970s, borrowing it from the patients he saw from the New York hard drugs scene who used it to describe the way the drug use ravaged their brains. But he started using the term to describe the emotional depletion and loss of motivation in volunteers at St. Mark’s Free Clinic in New York. Freudenberger himself experienced burnout, and originally, it only applied to care workers in the human services sector.
But from the 1990s to the 2000s, it spread to wider usage across careers. Part of what characterizes burnout is a sense of depersonalization and disillusionment. Your work is so tangled up in your sense of self, but as the burnout increases, your work performance and your daily life gets worse. The WHO calls it “feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and reduced professional efficacy.”
Burnout in the Arts
Like Bonfili, many people I spoke to only realized the depth of their burnout when a personal stressor rattled their sense of who they were. “Burnout is no joke,” Carolyn Pierotti, a painter and sales manager at Expansive, a downtown Pittsburgh real estate company, said. “In 2018, I was running Percolate Gallery and taking care of three children. My father was going into a long-term care facility and my marriage was on the rocks. I have been taught to push through and suck it up, but my body was giving out on me. I was exhausted, my anxiety was high, and I was watching my kids suffer because I wasn’t there.”
“I have been taught to push through and suck it up, BUT my body was giving out on me.”
Pierotti ultimately choice to walk away from the gallery she owned and find a different career path while still making her own artwork. But burnout among creative professionals is a widespread phenomenon, because most arts workers spread themselves across multiple jobs to make a living wage. So, forget having any time to rest or have a personal life.
An art handler and film crew member referenced the toll of constantly job-hopping as a gig worker, the strain of the small pool of job opportunities in Pittsburgh, and the toll of having to spend extra energy invoicing clients to even get paid at all. Rent is due, but a payments arrive on their own weird timeline. They noted that burnout often comes up around white collar digital labor, but that people who work with their hands have an additional challenge of facing their body’s limitations, too.
Burnout in a Toxic Workplace
It doesn’t help when there are additional emotional strains in the workplace. One respondent, an artist and fashion designer who goes by Evelyn’s Reverie but who has sustained herself with an office career, said that “[At the call center I worked at] I started getting harassed by another employee. I followed all the rules. Reported to my manager and did my best to remain professional. This went on for six months before I found out my boss was hiding it from HR.”
“I keep feeling like ‘What’s the point in overextending myself for organizations who do not care about me?’”
Though she left the job, the experience left her feeling jaded about office culture and whether she could trust anyone in the workplace. “All my hard work and service meant nothing to them. They protected the other employee who had a history of being inappropriate. I’ve struggled to have that same drive at my other jobs. I keep feeling like ‘What’s the point in overextending myself for organizations who do not care about me?’”
Burnout in Education
An educator who asked to remain anonymous described burnout associated with her time as a tenure-track academic at a rural university. “I was constantly trying to find ways to combat inequity, buying into the mythology of the more dedicated you are to your students, the more you’ll self-sacrifice for them. Teachers are underpaid and exploited, and women in any role do disproportionate amounts of ‘office housework,’ administrative work, counseling colleagues emotionally, cleaning…. Systemic factors also contribute to burnout,” she said.
She also pointed to the fact that people from immigrant backgrounds, as she is, or anyone who comes from a marginalized group, often will overcompensate for their presence in the workplace. “When you rest, there’s someone who’s willing in a toxic and exploitative environment to keep going in your place.”
“When you rest, there’s someone who’s willing in a toxic and exploitative environment to keep going in your place.”
She then went on to work for a DEI consulting company, but found herself burning out again because the fully remote work meant she had no personal boundaries. “A lot of people who are dealing with burnout are so far down the burnout hole that we don’t deal with our basic needs,” she said.
How Do You Cope with Burnout?
The educator mentioned that there are several coping skills that help her. Turning off her phone, making sure she gets out of the house, and leaning on her support network all have helped her mental state. “If someone from your community wants to help you, don’t turn them down,” she said. She also recommended that if you do quit your job, really take a rest. Hopping into the next profession immediately only exacerbates the spiral.
Anthony Angelilli, a trade worker who restores and paints historic homes in Pittsburgh, offered these tips about burnout from his own experiences managing his daily work and his personal life. He suggested that people who work in digital spaces often lack boundaries because of the myriad distractions around them. Working a trade offers more time to really focus on work. “Set work hours for yourself and actually work those hours. That means no scrolling on Instagram or other social sites or accepting phone calls that aren’t emergencies,” he said. When he got burnt out, he focused on what he did have agency over. “To cope, I just stopped thinking about it and directed my attention to things I can control. Right now, I just want my relationships with people to be loving and memorable.”
“Right now, I just want my relationships with people to be loving and memorable.”
Carolyn Pierotti said “I still experience stress, but I set boundaries for myself now. I’ve learned how to say no. It’s a word that I always had a hard time using, but now it’s more important than ever that I give myself time to rest and reset.” And if people respond negatively to that, Pierotti said: “I’m not always available, and the people who truly care will understand. And if they don’t…. well, F ‘em.”
Story by Emma Riva
Photo by Tangerine Newt
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